Wednesday, September 24, 2008

When Elephants Weep


    To switch it up for the start of the cold winter months. Lets talk about things that make me sad! (Don't worry, there's always a happy ending).

   I cry. A lot. To be honest, I love it. Whether its sobbing from some sad movie where the dog, father, mother, parakeet or all 4 die in a terrible tractor accident. Or happy crying where someone overcomes something and then a crowd of people inevitably give a standing ovation and send chills through my body. Or better yet, commercials. I'm that girl. I'm that girl and I own it.  

   I'm currently reading a book with the same title as this entry. At first I thought it was a bunch of stories about sad animals. But its actually really psychological and interesting. It all about why animals do what they do and act the way they act. With a few sad stories thrown in. What keeps getting me about the book is the sentences at the end of some of the chapters. They're little word daggers stabbing me in my heart. Ready? This one story is focusing on animal friendship. Specifically a brown lemur who gets separated from his fellow brown lemurs and sets up camp with some ring tailed lemurs. Saving the deets, these ring tailed punks only tolerate the brown guy, they are not outwardly nice to him. It goes on to say that the only lemurs that were nice to him were the juvenile ring tailed ones. "While his acceptance to the group was only partial, it clearly meant a great deal to him." WHAT?! way to make me picture this poor wide eyed sad lemur who is reminiscent of a middle schooler who's lunch table wont let her sit with them anymore. He would just be happy with a simple wave, pat on the back, or grooming perhaps. Christ. 

But just wait. We're moving on to the elephants now. If you want to make me cry, show me ANYTHING on elephants. It can be a sad documentary, a happy documentary, a Babar book, obviously Dumbo makes me weep and call my mom. The Baby Mine scene, depicted in my photo up there, shatters my universe every time I see it. Dumbo's mom is not a mad elephant! let her go you bastard humans! Can't you see the pain you are causing? After I watch that scene all I want is my mom to cradle me in her trunk. Or, arms. Whatever.

So anyway, my book just outlined an elephant who set out extra grain for a mouse everyday. HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THAT.  The documentaries on elephants are what rip me apart though. While I was in England struggling without TV, my dad would send me TiVo'd programs that he had transfered to dvd's for me. Thanks Dad! Mostly the usual things, Lost, The Office...but sometimes he would throw in shows or movies he thought I would like.  One day I start watching a national geographic "25 years of excellence" or something. Basically an hour long greatest hits. So after crazy once in a lifetime footage of the great cheetah/lizard war of 87'  and stuff like that, we get to Shirley the elephant. My. God.  

    Shirley was a circus elephant when she was young. Back when the circus was freak shows and black and white and grainy. Shirley got hurt somehow and was retired from the circus, she was then moved to a small zoo in lets say virginia or wisconsin or something. I forget. She was the only elephant there for 30 years. For literally all 30 of these years, she had the same keeper. He was this adorable old southern black man who cared deeply for Shirley. They clearly had a special bond. However Shirley had to be chained up pretty much every day because the zoo was so small she could easily like...break away or something. Her keeper hated to put the chain on her but would reward her with a bath and some apples. So the zoo finally realized that Shirley needed to be somewhere other than a small zoo, and arranged for her to be moved to an elephant sanctuary in sunny california. So cut to her keeper having to coax her into a big scary truck and have her traumatized by a bajillion hour drive. So then we get to the awesome like 300 acre sanctuary, and Shirley is put in a holding building so she can rest and eat and settle down and meet other elephants through some bars. Come to find out one of these other elephants was in the circus with Shirley 30 years ago AND THEY REMEMBER EACH OTHER. They are like fighting the bars so they can snuggle trunks, its the cutest fucking thing I have ever seen. So at this point I am openly sobbing. However the worst is yet to come. The sanctuary people tell Shirley's keeper that he can give her one last bath and then she'll be let out into the beautiful open land. So he's crying, I'm crying, everyone is crying, and he drops this bomb. "I don't know who the first person to put a chain on Shirley was. But I'm sure glad I'm the last person to take one off." SHIRLEY IS FREE! As I type, tears are trickling down my face. 

Now. Doesn't that feel great? If you're not crying, you are a robot that I must teach emotions too.  

So. Thats my sad blog. I hope you learned alot. Next post will be happy. I promise!


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I'm a closet geek


So listen. I'm a geek. I'm a geek in the shell of a fabulous socialite. However, the shell is impenetrable. I love being fabulous but internally being a loser at the same time. Its awesome.  You know those people from high school that were obsessed with...anything, but thought "hey, I fucking love [insert obscure pop reference] , I assume everyone else does too. I'm gonna talk about it. ALOT" I'm not that.



I keep it all in my head about how much I love something. I go through weird phases where I get obsessed with something and can't get enough of it. Side note: such as last year when I watched Bicentennial Man and the Celine Dion song "Then You Looked At Me" was the theme song. It took over my life for like 2 months. That song was my top played on iTunes for maybe 62 straight days. Why? I have no clue its just something about my brain and its triggers.

 Now, I adore musicals, I really really do. I love that feeling you get in the theatre when everyone is singing their feelings and dancing amazingly choreographed numbers about, I don't know, waffles. (patent pending) . But once again I'm not gonna walk around talking about how awesome some musical is when you arent into that. 

Also, blast from the past,  I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Basically it ran my life. And my dear cousinsisterbestfriend Amy Wright/ The Ponz 's life. Now, this lasted more than 2 months. This was a solid 5 years of my life. It ended in 2004 and a part of me died. But I got over it pretty quickly. I found a new show to cling too, and a new show after that, and a new show after that, and continued on with my life. Cut to a week ago, Aimee and I have been recently talking about Buffy and how much we fucking loved it. It was so awesome! I honestly think it was good for me to be really involved with something out of my power. Like what else can a 12 year old be passionate about? Bed time? Whose parents drive to the mall? Especially this show, all about vampires and demons and murdering both. It had human stuff too, but who cares. Shows these days are about like... parents, and who wins the big game, and curfew. Thats not distracting. Each week I got to invest in whose parents were EVIL, or whoever won the big game was going to turn into a hyena and eat his team mates, or if the reason someone was late for curfew was because they were out saving the world. Being in love with a show and caring about that was probably a good stress reliever. And stress enhancer. I might have developed an ulcer when Buffy died. Both Aimee and I cried ourselves to sleep that night. I will be open about that now. 

I think re-visiting our obsession has been hilarious and nostalgic. We can make fun of how weird we were and at the same time still laugh and discuss it as if we were still 13. 

Moral: get obsessed with something, it's good to get away if only for 40 minutes once a week. Or 22 minutes, depending on your type of television. 

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I hate feet, but I love shoes.

I love shoes. However not in a 97 pair categorized by polaroids kind of way. In a very few very coveted worn in kind of way. Here are some awesome shoes that I own and cherish:

  1. Jack Rogers "navajo" Sandals
I love these so much. I have gold silver and white and I really don't know how I lived through summer without them. My personal favorite are my gold ones, simply because they were my first pair and I love
 feeling sassy in gold. They defy all logic and make my feet feel like I'm wearing ridiculous Crocs (I refuse to offer a link for Crocs. I do not condone wearing them). Now, although I'm short, heels are not my favorite thing to wear. Heels hurt. Unless my feet are super sensitive or my pain threshold is extremely low, I feel as though I'm not alone in this. How do people wear 5 inch heels all day? One time, I was shopping in London wearing really cute brown leather boots with a 4 inch heel, and within the hour I was limping down Oxford Street. Not a slight limp, a LIMP. By the time I got back to my flat I was taking baby steps and contemplated sitting down next to a dog tied up outside M & S. To top it all off these particular boots are really hard to remove, and I struggled and whimpered for about 5 minutes before my feet were freed from the horrible bear traps. Jack Rogers solve that problem, when I'm going out galavanting and want to look fabulous, Jack Rogers make that happen. People don't seem to notice that I'm only 5'2. Every single time I go out, strangers look down and say "OMIGOD I LOVE YOUR SHOES!". I then say "I know! me too!" and do a little foot flex and show off my freshly pedicured toes (Strawberry Margarita OPI).  Whether I wear them with a sassy sun-dress , jean skirt, or cuffed jeans, I feel fantastic. 


For those of you who are saying "Uggs are so over" or "They look stupid" or even "PETA hates you!" I respond: Shut up. It's like having two baby polar bears snuggling your feet. Live polar bears PETA, relax.  They're not 'over'  in places where temperatures drop to -10 degrees Fahrenheit. They look awesome, and whatever, I'll adopt a giant squid if it makes you happy.  I have 4 pairs of Ugg boots. Short chestnut, short black, tall sand, and tall chocolate. Now, I'm not one to get all worked up about the condition of these sheepskin pieces of heaven. I wear my short chestnut as if they were sneakers or slippers, they have seen better days. The other ones depend on my mood. I do have a cute argyle dress that looks so adorable with brown tights and my tall chocolate ones though. These cozy boots are another item that I have no idea what my life was like without them. What did one wear in the brisk winter New England months? sneakers? clogs? penny loafers? I don't know. Do I really want to though?



I am obsessed with Old Navy flip flops. I have so many colors of these I could create a whole color spectrum. Besides, they're cheap. Two for $5? Really? Really. I joyously slip these on the minute the temperature allows it come spring time, and hardly wear anything else all summer. (except Jack Rogers. Obviously). Since they come in every color ever, any outfit can be matched. Now, I am a firm believe in dressing appropriately for your age, so I think that over the age of 30 Old Navy is a faux-pas. Perhaps try J Crew! The color scheme over there isn't quite as vast, however seeing "J Crew"  is much more sophisticated  than a worn in "Old Navy". So to do the math, I have about 10 years in change left to wear these.  I look forward to another decade with you Old Navy.

To sum it up, you can love shoes without having a separate shoe closet or expensive and painful stiletto's on your feet every day.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Blogging Virginity



Bare with me. 
I'm going to start my blog as if it's been going on for a while. No awkward introductions or sweaty handshakes. 

Lets start with things that are at the top of my love list.

  • Coffee
  • The Beach
  • Baseball
  • My Dog
  • The Girliest Fruitiest Mixed Drinks EVER
  • Grey Goose
  • My Bed
  • MarioKart (I know. But come on guys who doesn't revert back to an 11 year old when someone hits you with a red turtle shell when you're neck and neck with yoshi for first place?)
  • Swanky London Bars
  • Friends